


Balance

by hey-cas (kendra)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 12:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kendra/pseuds/hey-cas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There must always be balance within the world: one gate cannot close while the other remains. As Hell's gates start to close, Heaven recalls all of the angel's scattered throughout the world, including Castiel. This is their last moment together and Dean has some things to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Balance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nekoshojo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekoshojo/gifts).



> This takes place after Sam finishes the three tasks and they successfully start to close the gates of hell. Takes 8x17 in account, so maybe spoilers, but only if you know they're there. 
> 
> Inspired by nekoshojo's beautiful work of art that can be found over [here](http://nekoshojo.tumblr.com/post/35899872813). Betti is the living embodiment of my muse and is pretty much an artistic genius. Go show her some love.

They learned the hard way. There must always be balance within the world: one gate cannot close while the other remains. That is not how the world works and without perfect balance, they could not begin to fathom the horrors that could befall the world that they sacrificed so much for to protect. 

The three of them had stared at each other wordlessly before the eldest among them nodded. The middle one looked stricken as the younger read the final enchantment, ensuring the gates of hell and heaven would be closed forever. This singular moment would be their final as a trio, as Team Free Will, and as two hunters and their angel. 

And this is how it goes:

-

It starts with a shout from Sam that turns into a cough halfway through. Dean’s instantly to his brother’s side as he continues to hack, blood splattering from his mouth, painting the asphalt a vicious black. Now, they know it’s just a sign that the gates are closing and everything demon must vanish from this world, including the demon blood coursing through Sam’s veins. 

Dean gently walks Sam back to the Impala, sitting him down in the passenger seat. “You’ll be fine. We did it,” he whispers and Sam smiles. Dean barely hides the flinch caused by the sight of his brother’s red stained teeth. 

The smiles fades as fast as it comes when Sam nods, his eyes barely open, towards Castiel. Dean turns and his heart falters for a moment. 

Castiel stands motionless in the same spot he was when he made the decision. He’s starting to glow faintly, a holy white that’s slowly lighting up the night surrounding them. Dean stumbles when Sam gives him a gentle push. Eyes still locked on the glowing angel, Dean hears, “Go.” 

And he’s never had to be told twice. 

The blinding light is buzzing, surrounding Castiel with power and Dean can almost make out the shape of wings and even a halo. It’s pulsing with power and it’s engulfing both of them; Dean can feel it in his pounding chest.

“Cas,” Dean says voice low enough that it nearly gets lost in the buzzing. Dean can finally see that Castiel is fighting a silent battle with himself; his fists are clenched so tight that at any moment, his knuckles may break through layers of muscle and skin, sweat is beading on his brow, his chest is heaving with breath angels don’t need to take. 

Castiel’s fighting the call; the pull that dictates that he must return home. 

Dean steels his face. Castiel’s home is here with them. With him. “Cas,” he calls louder this time and the angel finally looks up. His eyes are scared and his arms start to reach for Dean – always reaching – and Dean can’t help himself but to reach back. 

“Can you fight it?” Dean asks in vain, fingers barely brushing against Cas’ own fingertips. 

“I can’t,” Castiel replies as his feet start to slowly lift from the ground. His shoulder blades – his wings – are slowly pulling him away but he hunches his shoulders and the rest of his body, hoping that his human limbs can overpower his celestial ones. “I have to; Heaven’s demanding me.” 

“You have to fight it,” Dean demands. “I know you can.” 

“Not this time, Dean,” Castiel says, breaking their eye contact. He continues to rise and their touching has become reaching yet again. 

“No, I need you,” Dean firmly declares, reaching forward, his fingers just shy of touching. He stands on the tips of his toes and Castiel stretches until their fingers brush; Dean latches on, tugging. Whispering, he says, “I still need you.” 

Castiel doesn’t respond but his borrowed eyes start to glow the same white light that’s escaping through the rest of him. Dean’s own eyes start to water as he realizes that Castiel is literally being ripped from his vessel. 

Anger swells and burns inside of him; his cracking heart is telling him that it’s useless. It’s officially over. There is no coming back after this one. There is no God to bring Castiel back for the fifth time. In fact, there will never be a Cas again. Instead, he’ll be locked behind the gates of Heaven, listening to Dean’s prayers and never being able to answer. The thought fades as reality finally rears its ugly head and settles heavily in Dean’s gut. 

He is _never _going to see Cas again.__

__His life fucking sucks._ _

__He swallows his anger – swallows the fear that comes with the utterance of these words – and says, “Goddamnit, Cas.”_ _

__His fingers finally brush Cas’ chest as he says, “I love you.”_ _

__Castiel’s ascent slows minutely. He looks a mix of relieved and stricken; it’s a terrible twist in his features that Dean wants to smooth with his fingertips. Dean curls his fingers tight around the backwards blue tie. “Stay with me. Please.” He finally allows himself to beg, his voice hoarse._ _

__Castiel’s hand comes up and wraps around Dean’s clenched fist and Dean’s as sure as Castiel is old that the angel is going to decline. A single wayward tear falls down his cheek when Castiel gently removes his hand from Dean’s own and easily gets Dean to let go of the tie. Dean lets them hang uselessly at his sides._ _

__So this is it. Everything that has happened and it ends with this. With a gentle unspoken ‘no’. Years of dancing and well-placed insecurities tumble around them as Castiel closes his eyes and soars into the dark, overcast sky. Dean clenches his fists and stares at the ground._ _

__Above him, Dean hears the start of angry crackling. He snaps his head up and watches as behind the clouds, Castiel burns brighter and brighter to the point where Dean is forced to shut his eyes in hopes of keeping them. What was once just a gentle buzzing slowly crescendos into a wailing of sound; Dean has to clamp his hands over his ears and he ducks, just in case._ _

__He squeezes his hands tighter when he hears Castiel start to scream. But Dean figures getting ripped from your vessel can’t be pleasant._ _

__There’s a sickening boom and Dean instantly looks toward the sky where there is, what appears to be, a comet crossing over head. It’s white with a bright blue center – kind of like fire – and unnaturally big. It lights the entire sky for the moment it flies over and then it’s gone, leaving Dean standing on the darkened street alone. The only light shining are those from long dead stars, the ones confident enough to peek out from behind their curtain of clouds._ _

__Dean drops his hands from his ears and his left one comes up, cupping his chin, his index finger resting across his lips. His eyes are burning and he’s comfortable telling himself it’s from staring at an angel’s true form for too long. He doesn’t want to look up because the only thing facing him will be a world where Castiel chose Heaven over him. And he’s not ready for that. He’s not ready for a world where no amount of praying, or begging, or pleading will get the angel to come back home to him. He just wants one moment in a world where Castiel loved him back, where he chose Dean, and where they can spend nights trying new food and dancing together to old records in his room._ _

__He just wants to live in a world where he finally gets to keep something that’s just his._ _

__Dean’s not sure how long he stands in the parking lot but when he looks up, all the clouds are gone, revealing a waning moon. He alters between staring at the sky, subconsciously looking for Castiel, and staring at the now dried blood of his brother, trying to remind himself that this is real. He turns away from the scene for the first time and catches the sight of Sam, still sitting in the Impala. The only difference is he’s leaning against the door frame, sleeping like the child he never was._ _

__It makes Dean smile._ _

__He takes the first step towards their new life when he hears an unmistakable voice from behind him._ _

__“And I you.”_ _

__Holding his breath, Dean whirls around, hand automatically going to the gun tucked in his jeans, when he lets everything relax._ _

__It’s just Cas._ _

__He’s beaten and bruised, blood crusting on his forehead. His tie is missing, his shirt torn slightly in the front, and his trench coat has blood on the sleeves. He looks exhausted and the most perfect Dean has ever seen him._ _

__“Cas?”_ _

__“You once said we’re a family and I understand that family means no one gets left behind,” his voice is weak but it’s his and Dean’s not the kind to hope easily but here he is hoping. With sure steps, he crosses the few feet and stops, well beyond his own imposed “personal space” rule._ _

__Dean chuckles, but there’s no humor in the action, just relief. “Or forgotten,” he finishes the quote, completely positive that Castiel wouldn’t get the reference. The smile that breaks out on Castiel’s face has Dean rethinking that thought though._ _

__A long moment passes in which the only thing they do is breathe each other’s air. Eventually, Castiel’s words pierce through Dean’s haze of disbelief and pour over him with refreshing relief. “Really?”_ _

__“Yes,” Cas answers simply. The corners of Dean’s mouth rise forming a small, secret smile. He reaches forward, almost afraid to touch, before gripping Cas’ shoulders and hauling the angel towards him._ _

__They breathe together, holding each other, before Dean breaks the moment by whispering into Castiel’s hair, “I gotta ask. How?”_ _

__“I ripped out my grace,” he answers in that same blunt tone that was always Castiel, although there’s an undercurrent of sadness that Dean can pinpoint precisely. The “for you” goes unsaid but not unheard._ _

__“That’s why I’m so battered. When an angel falls, they’re given just enough grace to safely fall but they will land wherever. I concentrated on falling as close to you as I could.”_ _

__Dean wants to apologize. Wants to tell him that it was a waste, that he’s not worth it, that this world – and all it’s monsters – isn’t worth it but Castiel’s arms are tight and warm from where they’re wrapped around his waist and maybe it’s time for him to be selfish for once. Maybe it’s time for Dean to get what Dean wants._ _

__Castiel burrows his head in the crook of Dean’s neck, pressing a small kiss to his racing pulse point._ _

__Yeah. Now sounds like a good time to start._ _

__-_ _

__It really was their final moment as Team Free Will._ _

__But it _was _their first as a family.___ _


End file.
